smile-

Sunday, April 30, 2006

monks cant beat this.

excessive hair checks carried out by obdurate disciplinary teachers antagonised some students, driving them up the brink of despair, leaving them with no choice but to resort to this:

haha. saw this pic and i cant help but to share it.
waiting for david to come over my place, we are gna toil the night away!
im lazy to blog, shall blog again soon.

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10:41 PM

Friday, April 28, 2006

blessed.

ok, i'll sum up my 16th b'day with a few blessings that really touched my heart.

firstly, it is the first time i feasted upon a whooping 42bucks steak!
you see, matthew called me out on tuesday night for dinner. he said he would be in camp on thursday, and thus wanted to treat me to dinner as a celebration for my b'day.

we had dinner over at the outskirts of town; in the vicinity of hilton hotel and tanglin mall.

DAN RYAN CHICAGO BULL.
i wanted the petite steak, which is like so much cheaper($29) but matthew insisted on the bigger steak. he also ordered lemon tea and potato wedges. the meal was one that was consumed under the veil of love; so airily casual, yet sincerely frank.
it wasnt all abt the sumptuous meal, but matthew's deliberate effort to add colours into my life. we put aside all other issues and engaged in a conversation, which i believed, have brought about mutual sedation. reminiscing the days when we first met, it developed a stirring in me, a surreal feeling that transcends understanding, it was so supernatural.

god must have been in the picture.

despite the 3 yrs age gap, we were still able to communicate. he have acted like a mentor, sharing his experieces on his different phase of life, but he was also a friend, encouraging and pulling me along the waves of opposition.
that night, i just wanted to revel in the propinquity of such a friend.
thks matthew!

a second blessing came my way.
for the first time in my 16years of existance, mum gave me an 'ang bao' for b'day!
surprise?? me too. so, i shall exult over this small unexpected sum and think abt wat to do with it.

thirdly, it was the suprise carried out by the peeps! im still living in jubilation because of this small but magnificent celebration ok!(:
pics:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2106917088

the demise of my hair is probably the only misforutune that descended upon me, but the various blessings made up for it!
it just leaves me with the conclusion that my friends have bestowed me with a memorable 16th birthday; a birthday which is unequaled, unparalleled and incomparable!!

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10:33 PM

consider 27th april a testament of god's grace.

This blog has served as a platform for me to voice out my dissatisfaction, and not forgetting the many joyful events happening in my life.
You know, sometimes when I browse through some of the old entries, I go like 'ahh, im human afterall. See, im not devoid of emotions, my feelings at this particular post has been conveyed and penned down for future references.'

Before you jump into the bandwagon and classify me as an eccentric emo-kid, do allow me to explain the reason why I enjoy writing abt my emotions.
It is my belief that feelings should neither be suppressed nor repressed, but it should be unleashed and expressed!
Retreat behind the comfort of the computer screen; open the flood gates to my creative juices and as best as I could, write a pellucid entry depicting the transitions of my various emotions.

Now, its time to WRITE.

The surge of exuberance has buried the grudges I had against the school's policy, and effectively drowned my woes of the ruined haircut.
This year, I enjoyed my b'day thoroughly. Allow me to dwell in this sanctuary a little longer, imbibing delight through every pore, before 27th april comes to an end.

Jonas, zhihao, weisong, aaroon.k, weiren, weiqin, yang, Russell, yongwen, Sheryl and ziwei.

I attended tuition today with little expectations, thinking it will just be another mundane b'day. However, the ppl mentioned above took the effort to ignite a magical spark right outside the tuition centre.
Weisong and I left the tuition centre after we were done with the work. On our way to the toilet, I saw Russell! I called out for him and he shot me with a who-are-u look.

Clearly buffaloed, I questioned, 'its me la! Cant recognise me ah!'

Russell stood rooted for a second, as if trying to dig deep into his memory bank to recall who the hell I was.

'oh its u teck yang. Couldn't recognise u in those shorts.'

Well, for some reasons, I took his reply the way it was, dismissing all possible suspicions.Russell's acting skills are commendable! He had me deluded!

I was in for more trickery and scams.

It was getting a little late and I suggested it was time to travel back home.
As we(weisong & me) were walking down to the mrt station, he exclaimed,

'I left my worksheets back at the tuition centre!'

Being the kind friend I was, I accompanied him back to the tuition centre to retrieve the 'worksheets'.
Before long, weiren and aaron kwek came into sight armed with a cake box. I quickly interpreted their appearance as a call for celebration; an obvious hint that the peeps are here to celebrate my birthday!
As the 2 of them inched nearer, weiren let loose of the box and it landed on the ground with a sickening thud. Just when I thought the cake was unintentionally smashed, zhihao and the rest of the ppl appeared with cake on hand, singing the sweetest b'day song I ever heard!

There was no damn cake in the box! I was tricked, yet again. Haha.

So, a screwed haircdo just aint enough to damper my spirits, with the b'day crown on, I shall prance in the midst of love, twirl around my ever so wonderful friends and thank the lord for such a special birthday!

Will write a little more about my birthday blessings on the next entry. Stay tuned. (:

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12:13 AM

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

im not making a mountain out of a molehill.

CAT HIGH DISCPLINARY BOARD SHLD JUST PISS OFF AND ROT IN HELL.
the mere mention of the school holds connotation of abused authority and stringent discipline measures.

the sch strives to provide a cohesive environment for the students to learn and develop characeteristics alike to a GENTLEMEN. although i think all the talks are sheer bullshit, there isnt much that i can do. i have to comply to the dictatorial commands of the school, or rather, the principal.
the sch's vile attempts to stage a revolution has brought abt much trauma, causing students to be emotionally abused and unfortunately, some had failed to evade from the prying eyes of the disciplinary teachers.

hair checks ruined me.

so, does short hair makes us anymore like a gentlemen?-- and in unison, the students screams NO!!
like i said, we are subjected to the sch's prerogative, expected to be at their beck and call. failure in adhering to their beliefs wil result in dire consequences. for today, i had it.
MY HAIR WAS VICIOUSLY SNIPPED OFF BY THE BARBER.
it is an understatement to say that is ugly. even david gan cant save me from this plight.
damn.

definitely not in the mood to do anything, i just want O's to be over and leave this god-forsaken sch.
for now, let me grieve over spilled milk.
i will blog again after i accustomed myself to this new hairdo.

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3:12 PM

Monday, April 17, 2006

random.

the boredom is kiling me. but again, i have plenty of stuffs at bay, waiting to be done.
alright, i admit it. this is just pure procrastination.
prelims are creeping in, and i ought to start studying now.

so, i will post a few candid shots taken during jonas b'dae(13th april) and subsequently vanish into the boresome realm of textbooks.

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j100/sheryl_16/jonas%20birthday/DSCN1670.jpg

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j100/sheryl_16/jonas%20birthday/DSCN1671.jpg

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j100/sheryl_16/jonas%20birthday/DSCN1680.jpg

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j100/sheryl_16/jonas%20birthday/DSCN1684.jpg

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j100/sheryl_16/jonas%20birthday/DSCN1683.jpg

much thanks and credit given to sheryl and ziwei, for taking the pics and uploading it onto the net.

will blog again soon, check back on sunday. bye bye world.

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9:23 PM

Sunday, April 16, 2006

moonbathing under the starry night sky.

saturday night-
jonas, zhihao, weisong and me.

a rarefied experience whereby we chilled the night off right on the secluded top level of a multi story carpark. dont get the wrong image, we aint doing drugs or sort.
this experience imperceptibly infiltrated into my sub consciousness, like a notepad, it was embedded right onto me. i can never forget this experience, never.

to speak of the truth, there wasnt anything that appealing abt this little gathering.
the location wasnt the best of place, but the companions were my best of friends.
this alone made the world of difference.

savoring very inch of the serene night, we weaved imprudent dreams, occasionally cooking up a ludicrous cockeyed idea and laugh off at our own foolishness.
ahh, that was the moment.
sincere delicate grace notes floated in our midst, pinning them down to form a structured opus will be out of the question.
let the chats continue, let the raw emotions flow, let this friendship rejuvenate.

the bottle of red wine further refined the glamour of the night. deftly relishing every drop of wine, accompanied by the unfaltering conversation, we could have went on for ages.
unfortunately, i was merely living on the slice of stolen time. it will take me sometime to travel from khatib back home, and in order not to catch the midnight charges of the cab, i had to leave.

unwillingly, i baded farewell to a night of vigour.
jonas offered to walk me down the carpark and waited for me to board the cab before leaving. his little gesture pleased me inordinately. thanks buddy!

im a simple guy, one do not need to know rocket science to figure out my predilections. sometimes its not just abt tangible words, but small yet significant gestures, which can go a long way too.
the bottom line is: be true, be simple, be sincere, and be rid off the sophiscated nature of man.

i derive to this conclusion; the number of people u know means shit, they are but mere acquaintances. what truly matters are those who u can relate to without putting up a front of pretence, those who u can call, buddies.

i can declare indignantly, 'quality triumps over quantity.'
their companionship i will cherish!

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4:01 PM

may i remind u that this entry will be a deluge of thoughts and nothing else. save me from the derogatory comments if u r intending to make any.

i need salvation and respite from this conniving heart of mine.
the time has come for me to dilute my naiveness with the realisation that im nth without the lord.

shrugs. how many times have i found reasons to validate my perceptions and failed to place myself in the eyes of god? countless. i reasoned things by human ideologies, measured things by human standards, and explained things by human logic.

i missed out the crucial and deciding factor:
jesus christ my saviour.

im but a mere mortal! one which is liable to sins, and confined by my own finitness. who am i to make decisions and pass judgements?
this is so wrong. a paroxysm of guilt threatens to encompass my whole being, sinking me into the abyss of self condemnation.

when i fail to establish a strong walk with the lord, problems accrued and it wouldnt be long before a chasm of unaswered questions lay between the lord and me. delibrate measures and efforts are needed to build this relationship strong!. to hell with the paradox that god is always in our midst, his presence never to leave. bullshit! god is in our midst, BUT his presence may fizzle off if we are not on the constant lookout for him!

god's tender hands is much needed in my life. hold me, and i will walk with u all the days of my life.

do things my way? or do things ur way lord? to run or not? lets see how it goes..

burntan.' no more self indulgence honey
i tink everything we do, we gotta remind ourselves that god must be in the center

burntan.' no more self indulgence honey
and not listing out priorities by 1, 2, 3

burntan.' no more self indulgence honey
but its like a mind map linking out our lives

burntan.' no more self indulgence honey
everything revolves ard god.

burntan.' no more self indulgence honey
so if u are facing troubles placing ur priorities, then u gotta go back to the center core.

thanks sherli!

lets do this together. 1 comments

12:22 AM

Sunday, April 09, 2006

carrying off fragments of my hopeful, optimistic dream.

i shld blog on a more regular basis, and for that, i'll update my blog at least once every week. so, check back every sunday.

i enjoy blogging to a certain extend as it allows me to keep track of my life, and to pen down my thoughts and views in a clear, concise manner.
unknown to many, there is this old blog that i have. in it, holds many entires of my running days. riffling through the old entries, i got a lil nostalgic. yet again.

i shall not digress now, but will have to make a dejecting confession.
i will stop running, at least for now.

before u start scrutinising me, allow me to explain the reason for this cause.

2 entries back, i cited instances of my renewed passion. my conviction is still strong, but it is crippled by the harsh and pragmatic reality of this world. i wna run, but i cant; the stakes for this gamble is too big for me to bear.
the mind is willing, but the flesh is weak.

firstly, let me tell u of a typical trng week. the usual routine is 3 or 4 times trng per week. monday, wednesday, friday and sometimes saturday. every session lasts for about 3 hours. giving ur best for each strenuous session will result in extreme fatigue. by the time i wash up and have my dinner, it wiill be around 8+pm. finish up some work, and my eyes will be closing; slurring a plea for me to slump deep into my bed.
there aint sufficient energy for me to finish up my hwk, not to mention extra revisions.

lets face it, i do not posses superior intellect nor have the capability to do well in exams without studying hard for it. a simple browse through my report card will show that im still failing a couple of subjects. this is a crucial year for me, whether i like it or not, i have to study. but if i continue trng, time and my physical being do not permit me to give my utmost best. but at the end of this yr, i want to have no regrets, proclaiming, 'i have studied and given my best for the Os.'

even if i continue running, there is no gurantee that i will succeed. rather to end up with both running and studies all screwed up, and end up having to go to poly or something, i choose to abort my conviction in running. with all focus on my studies, i can be assured of a place in jc and from there, i can continue my run. the stakes is my future, ruining my future is the last thing i want to do.

going through this emotional turmoil is hard for me too, but such is the cruelness of this dose of altered reality. self-assurance is but temporial self-denial, i can go on and think that i can juggle both studies and running, but in the depth of my heart, i know im being cloaked in a shroud of reasonable doubt and plausible deniability.
it really suck to be embroiled in this confusion, stained with uncertainty, but i know, a final and firm decision will be the liberating key.

this entry goes out to mr koh:
im sorry coach. just want to let u know that u have really made an impact in my life. you are the one whom i will always remember and respet, but still, i choose to take this route. for now. for now.

my disclaimer: i have not given up hope on rising up again, but have instead choosen to take the practical step of securing my future FIRST. i will run. but not this year.

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4:01 PM

Sunday, April 02, 2006

sweet 17 to weiqin! (:

we celebrated weiqin's birthday yesterday night. enjoyed a meal over at punggol marina country club. it has been long since we had such a big gathering. all in all, we had abt 20 ppl ard. needless to say, the fun we had was almost indescribable.

i simply love these guys, they piece my life, and make me feel like im in the midst of dazzling fireworks. friends play such an impt roles in our lives dont they? im lucky to have gd friends in church, and also superb buddies out there!

from my observations, i realise i have this innate tendency to treasure the friendships ard me. why? i do not have a clue myself. well, i guess these intrinsic bonds defies description and is beyond my understanding. all i ever need to do now, is to continue to thank the lord for the existence of such friends.

PRELIMS ARE COMING! and im definitely not equiped with the basic skills to fight this WAR.
shit. haha.

lets do this together. 1 comments

4:00 PM